A girl that has been around the block is going to have a much harder time finding a man to agree to spend the rest of his life with her. I AM SORRY, AS WOMENWE MUST HOLD OURSELVES TO HIGHER STANDARDSWHEN WE BEGAN TO LOSE OUR MORALS AND ACT LIKE MEN IS WHEN WE STARTED TO BE MORE LIKELY TO GET SHOT THAN MARRIED. they are the last person to even go there! Shadow Hunter-December 12, 2022. Saying that if you have good communication with her and can get a sense of her values maybe it can be worked out, I understand what you're trying to say, I think. Point is though, once you hit above 20-30 people mid twenties it is a bit much either gender. yeah of course it matter because a hoe is a hoe. I just still think we have to evaluate that person for who they are now, or in many cases just trust GOD if you feel he has told you this is the woman for you. I personally would have never dated a guy who has slept around a lot. May I pose a question: of the following three women, all the same age (27) and started having sex at the same age (17), who is more sexually experienced? I see what you are saying with the correlation, and it does make a lot of sense. I could go on forever but Ill stop here. Women are no different than men. was a bad (abusive) relationship. By Samantha Daniels, Contributor OK maybe not free you might need to tell her its OK were all equal ect ect so some effort is involved to get sex. ok I understand where you are coming from especially with having to constantly worry about bumping into her sex partners. You slept with so many people? There is a double standard and its not going away any time soon. Who she was it not always who she is now. The simple truth is, it doesnt matter why you act like a slut. You dont know where to begin, because you have nothing to say, and deep down, you know Im right. People lets come out of denial, a false sense of entitlement, male privilege, or whatever it is and do our own self examination as Holy Spirit would have us do! You make an excellent point when you speak on how many women have adopted this way of thinking. At the end of the day I am grateful for her in my life but it still bothers me every day getting it off my chest and hearing other guys in similar situation really let me see it in another light instead of it sitting in the pit of my stomach and getting rotten. We can talk for hours and hours about pretty much anything and not get bored of each other. You wont be fully satisfied until youve found every single one of those great qualities all bunched up into one person. The image of women as conservative and prudish has been in place since patriarchal days and were created by the fathers and prospective mates. That being said , I just wanted to point out that the double standard here has disgusted me for soo long. Then she knocked on a door and a guy in his underwear opened it, and she walked in and closed the door. This girl helped open my eyes to all sorts of fun ideas in and out of the bedroom. Most people have not and this applies to both men and women. Well written! choose the best possible man, or to be exact, provider. you may have some serious issues and I would say that its too many. Some guys are really looking for that one who has waited. has slept with. Eventually we grew apart because she was ready to start a family and I was not. I believe society is obsessed with sex, seriously God created between one man and one woman Ive never had a one night stand and couldnt imagine letting a woman that I JUST met put her mouth on my penis or me eating her vagina I feel like promiscuity is just a reason to be reckless/refuse self discipline.. The past is relevant. WHO WANTS A WOMAN or a MAN you can not trust. /Especially/ when choosing a mate. I am pointing out that sex is vastly different for men and women.. That is how we are made.. eliminated the need to be selective by being careful in terms of sex, due to And why? I often think about the young ladies who were sexually abused in the youth, or who were taught sex is the only way to love or keep someone. You are right about the emotional attachment. So men are letting go this thing that she slept with 30 guys before marriage because this is common. Turns out he says he is still a virgin and is looking for a virgin wife. What I am saying is I dont feel it is best to allow that to overshadow everything else that is great about this woman and the fact that you believe she is best from you (aside from a possible past you arent too happy about). Would it really be wise to now walk away from her simply because an actual number is revealed. You can say no, no, no as much as you like and deny up and down till youre blue, but that still doesnt get the idea about a woman, out of a mans mind. I dont know what planet you come from but aint no way a man would want to wife a woman who has slept with every man in town. deep. Tell that to employers who are hiring new employees. While the next woman can be known around town and still have managed to not catch any STDs. Embrace who she is today and enjoy it. Part of that process takes proper communication. Because mens focus on a . and you excel in other areas it can balance this out. If so, thats not love. I feel like I have generally improved on processing my thoughts and emotions and have seen positives in being more communicative with her as of late so I agree with you there. Frankly, education and the age of marriage are the biggest predictors of marital stability, not the number of penises a woman has been privy to prior to the marriage. In my opinion that would be the better approach that can produce better results. Wesley Pipes, calls out Kobe' lol you really took it there. I completely understand your position but he is where our views differ. If she is what you need her to be, but then you find out she had X amount of partners, well that shouldnt override who she currently is. All the sudden, I stopped wanting to sleep around and it was no longer enjoyable. As long as you can be faithful to the person youre with, whatz the problem?? A woman who cheats on her husband has violated their relationship. He is the ALPHA and the OMEGA. Cheers. Men have to go out to 10 women and hope 1 of them chooses him. Women lie period. The worst part of this is having to act like I don't care about any of this stuff to her as that quite honestly could only hurt what we are trying to build if I show that I am insecure about this. Guess what? Always be ready and willing to check in on how she feels in the relationship, and if she feels she needs or wants something different. But I hope u find the great guy tho. No problem and trust me I will. So to simply go off of the number is in my opinion a misguided approach to understanding the person you are dealing with. If I trusted someone and it came up, I Its the woman you wanted. 4 years ago. Why are we so stuck on this? The fact is a matter of biology. That is all we need to continue our happy lives. If you are a woman and you want to get married, you need to be smart about your dating. You men make so many assumptions about us women but just know that a woman with a few notches under her belt is just as capable of loving you emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically like any other woman. Some guys don't want something that was shared by several others. Do you think that I can take her seriously? So does that mean that once you accumulate some baggage that you are stuck with it forever? https://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/the-myth-of-the-high-rate-of-divorce/all/1/ for college educated women who marry after the age of 25 and have established an independent source of income, the divorce rate is only 20 percent! So when u have kids a small part of another mans DNA is in your kids. My opinion, the past is what shapes us, it is how we use that and apply it to our future that defines us. Well I ask you one thing WHO GIVES UP THE HOLE. Wow, as more as I read your answers as more I agree on what you say I am afraid puppycat feels remorse for something has she been honest with her man about her past????? The article is discussing why the specific number should not matter when a man is choosing his partner and the fact that the woman she is today is not always the same woman she once was. So know this, men will have their values, its just sad u will bypassed becos of it. She is still the amazing woman you love and she can still function the same way she always has with you. Youre doing the right thing, love beats all just think how you would feel looking back at now when youre on your death bed about to pass onto the other realm. More and more women than ever before are Sleeping around. while, recklessly, and if I crash? I think through her is a reminder and a reflection of my own insecurities (which we all have no-one kid yourself) and that might be why it bothers other guys too, if I want to offer some advice to anyone reading this is that, look at it from that perspective, about yourself not about her. It's a case of attraction. No one wants to date or marry a hoe. I will definitely address it and I hope you let me know what you think when that time comes : ). It would best be done in the I believe most men would prefer this. But if your going to get seriously involved physical and emotionally with someone come clean. I dont know if i should open up anymore or not. Just judging by how erratic, panicky and rather desperate you have written your message above. A lot of men would have a problem respecting and trusting a woman that is currently on or has been on the hoe stroll as you call it. dont forget the emotional wear and tear, the baggage. See, I can understand a man deciding not to be with that woman because their views and values dont line up. People are unable to act outside their own nature. First of all, we human beings need to start doing fuller and more honest self examinations before we point at others. Right now though, I really do not think that the problem is the girl, or the potential relationship itself even. Or not. I have seen women who had only slept with one man end up being loose while in a relationship. Her sexual promiscuity or lack there of does not control control his actions or level of respect. I get so excited all the time with her, cause I know she was a slut and Im proud of being a slut too. We all have issues, so we have no right to be so quick to judge, and look down on others for their perceived issue. That there is no way to properly address things and move past what you used to do? This is why the feminist message that women should go and lots of sex (presumably to be more like men) is so damaging. Idc what you say. I completely understand where you are coming from Jeraldel and I assure you I will address these issues moving forward. I still deal with the pain but I am far from the promiscuous young girl. And when your whore whoops I meant wife has a flashback during intercourse and screams calls out Kobe just know, she not cheering for the Lakers. pregnant with other males children, if given the choice. We women are more than what is between our legs. At the end of the day we all have to decide what is most important. The commandment was and is for both genders of mankind. It seems that its not the case. For rich or for poor.. Like my mother told me when I was a teenager, if Men are dogs, which they are usually. And while I was confident she would never cheat on me, it still bothered me that she let that many men use her that way before me. I agree with you completely, and applaud you for being able to be abstinent again. understand that men careand crafty ones will attempt to figure out I do wish, however, that more men could see that this issue is not so black and white. My personally opinion, 10 partners in a lifetime for men and women should be enough. One called her a hoe. Now although this may not be the route you chose when it comes to sexuality it doesnt make you better than or more wise than the girl or guy who chose to have 100 + partners. This is definitely topic that deserves to be discussed further. Many people and the media would have people believe that women are so Dont get mad if needs/wants change. Ive seen friends go through 4+ relationships in a year. And I ask you, why ride the Datson if youre looking for the Benz? If you are not compatible in how you view the world and along with many other views you may not be good together. What if I through a monkey wrench to your logic by saying that this said slut you speak of was forced into prostitution when she was young, and therefore slept with a lot of men? I cannot lie that finding out all the stuff about her hurt me because I generally do hold deep emotions for her, but as someone else stated, it is ridiculous to say "do not judge someone by their past", because the same cannot be said for criminals who committed a crime and now regret it. Me personally I know everyone does things they are not proud of but if i meet someone that has the potential to be the one why not at least get to know them and consider giving them a chance no one on this earth is flawless and perfect but its up to us to have a clear mind and not let the things mess up something that could be special. I told her that unless she knew those particular girls background, she really had no basis to formulate a judgment. As it relates to this post I believe that a woman's number of sexual partners does matter for a few reasons. If you did respect her, you wouldn't really be having this conversation, would you? Even though men have the choice too without fame a lot of money a social status its a losing battle. Please have a successful relationship before you consider children. Numbers mean nothing. Theres timing to all things, even discussion about lovers. You can choose to disagree but believe it or not there are a lot of men with women they know have a past and are in great healthy relationships. Self respect and value for yourself, if somebody wanted that lifestyle then why should they get to have somebody who didnt have that lifestyle. According to your logic, if dicks cause wear and tear to a womans vagina, then it doesnt matter if she slept with 100 men or slept with one man 100 times, she will still have wear and tear. is out of sync with reality(and they are becoming increasingly aware Compare apples to apples, Crazy Obsessed Man. lover constantly complains that you nag them, try and find ways to fix this How many is to many partners for both men and women? Also if we take a spiritual perspective, then let me add that we all live in sin. He laid His life down for you and for me that we would not have to be separated from him because of our sinful ways and mind sets. And some dudes value the experience of a woman who has been around. Must you attempt to state your position by insulting others who do not share your opinion. Judging someone for their actions in their past have no bearing on the type of person they or now. And if he is, so what? HAVING A LOT OF SEXUAL PARTNER IS JUST NOT RIGHT .. Men throwing themselves at women is acceptable in society. Thank you for your input. My parents argued constantly when I was a child and still do to this day. Yes some women can bond with a man after their promiscuity days, but how many divorces still occur? I love this woman and to make her feel secure I cut ties with all my girlfriends and avoided all women actually. That is one of the biggest decisions a person can ever make, and it would be ridiculous to not look at how that person has actually lived his/her life. My opinion on how many people is too many: Since people We cannot allow people to think "I can do whatever I want because people can't judge me anyway" because that promotes this view of doing and thinking wild things simply because you can get away with it. At the end of the day, its all about what works to pass on genes. A mess you gonna have these women out here single and lonely.. Lol hold up, I didnt write Why I go through his phone that was a guest blogger (OnlyOneHeaven.com) but I did write this article. Thats roughly a new guy each month. This is, of course, regarding those who have been honest enough to disclose details about their past. Thank you, Lord, for resurrecting from the dead. I dont think that women should be labeled as whores, hoes, or sluts simply based on a number. Smh Of course Im gonna take the car with the less mileage on it. That is my opinion, and I guess we can agree to disagree on this one. Why invest your time, emotion and energy into a person who does not share the same sexual compatibility that you do because you naively want to believe that how many people she has slept with doesnt matter. I agree with you. I understand why you would hold the position that you hold since you arent aware of the actual science behind my statement. So ask yourself: do previous sex partners have any real effect on a current relationship? If you are afraid to admit how many men you have been with then its obvious you are ashamed of it. Using the number of sexual partners as one proxy for how someone views sexuality, intimacy, and as insight into part of their value-system iscompletelyrational and reasonable. but its not. So sure, women can be sluts and then claim they have grown, and changed, and moved past that time of their lives. However, a guy can be just as much of a slut as a gal. Remember that life is full of gray and there are many reasons people do the things they do. So I have to make the decision..do I want her after the wear and tear of 200 men?? the fire between them grows up again and they start f..ng silly like bunnies behind your back! assuming they're not self-destructive (no, "lots of sex" isn't automatically self-destructive), in my experience, they're not only better and more adventurous in bed, they're passionate, supportive, loving, kind, and ambitious. These men typically have low self-esteem, cannot get better, are older and desperate, or simply have no other options. Much like you are forcing the woman in your life to do, would you rather start out a relationship based on a lie? You have to go deeper to get a clearer picture and to see if this is still a woman battling certain issues or a woman who has been far removed from what she once was. How many men a female has slept matters because: You can believe what you wish, and if this works for you my friend then by all means continue as you are. Here is my conclusion i guess. If you love sex so much, u can have it with the man you believe will stay with u and you have something serious with, something that will not spoil your name.. Its a bit embarassing.. And you, or any other woman can do whatever she wants, and be as promiscuous as she wants. Some guys value women with a low number, or who choose their partners sparingly. However, with choices come consequences, and in this situation, the consequence is that, in general, men wont take you as seriously as a long-term partner prospect. Yes, men are allowed to sleep with married women but women cant do the same with men. Is a depressed life worth living. Men still are conscious of disease and do not want a woman who has been However, there can be consequences I feel hurt by the fact that she was promiscuous and so casual. & What makes it worse is even most women have adopted this way of thinking ! I disagree that promiscuity is what has caused the highest divorce rate America has ever seen. 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